Posted by: Maryann McCullough | March 31, 2011

Story for April 2011

 THE COMPETITION

It would have been easier if the rival for my husband’s affections had been another woman. I would have known how to compete. Some romantic weekend in wine country, a little shopping trip to Victoria’s Secret

But my husband’s priorities were for another species entirely – the canine kind.

It was the little things I noticed him doing at first – getting up in the night to cover the sleeping dogs, preparing meals rather than just dumping out dog food, turning on the television for them when we left home for a bit.

Then I overheard whispered conversations. “You are the best dogs, the very best dogs.” This is not even true. I have evidence of their misdeeds on my carpets and in my once-beautiful backyard. Why not “You are the best wife, the very best wife” in my ear?

What about that?

Now if I had kept these thoughts to myself, it would have been one thing but paranoia and jealousy sometimes rise to the surface when least expected. Last night was one of those times.

I had prepared a nice dinner – not a candles and flowers dinner but good food, three different colored things on the plate, hot and ready to be eaten. His response when I called him to dinner was “Just a second. I forgot to feed the dogs.”

It was not a second. My husband also put three different things on a clean plate and then warmed the dogs’ food. Meanwhile, ours was moving toward cold. and so out tumbled the anger behind my secret fear.

“You love the dogs more than you love me!”

“What did you say?”

“YOU LOVE THE DOGS MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME.”

Silence.

Then laughter – the cruelest cut of all.

“You know you sound like a crazy person, don’t you?”

This is probably when I should have joined in the laughter. I did not. I recited like a practiced poem every grievance, real or imagined, that occurred since those animals took up residence in our home and in my husband’s heart.

 “……trips untaken…loving words…laughing at their misdeeds…we need new carpet…barking…taking them on all the errands. And for good measure, I threw in a comment about his very messy office and the fact that he falls asleep when we sit down to watch TV in the evening.

 Oh, well. In for a penny, in for a pound.

Then he did the very worst thing. He came over and hugged me.

I just hate it when he is so obviously more mature than I am.

 

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Responses

  1. This was really funny. Dogs steal our hearts so easily 🙂

  2. Hilarious! Margie.

  3. I can see this playing out perfectly in my mind, made me laugh out loud! XX M


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